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OS (on sabbatical) Log Day #12

January 28, 2012

I officially started my one-semester sabbatical leave on January 17, with excitement and trepidation. Even though I had a sound and clear sabbatical writing plan and a realistic grants/fellowship application schedule, I was (and still am) still very nervous. I find that after two weeks of focusing only on my research, I am more productive and I am more stressed. I am up to two cups of coffee a day and I am spending more time everyday in front of the computer. I feel like there is a weight hanging over my head and that no matter how much I submit or publish or write, the weight will never get smaller and will never disappear. My hope is that somewhere in this brain of mine, I will begin to understand (and believe) that tenure is a journey not a destination. It is not the top of the academic mountain nor will it be the most important or significant thing that has ever happened to me (getting married and raising two wonderful boys are at the top of that list). And yet, even though I keep saying it/chanting it/yelling it…I still haven’t accepted it.

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